Today I went to the school's fairly new state-of-the-art "fittness and wellness center" for the first time. Now don't get me wrong, this place is pretty sweet. They have everything. To be honest one of my "work out goals", if you will, is to get "good enough" to go there on a regular basis. This visit, however, was premature. It's a great story really, so bear with me as I give context to why I was there in the first place.
I lost my apartment keys and fob over the span of maybe 50 feet and 15 minutes. Don't even think of asking, magicians rarely reveal their secrets. Due to this loss, I was without access to my physical apartment, a way to exit or enter the complex via foot or car, and the facilities provided as amenities to residents...including the workout place.
So here we go, hitting the pavement for a walk to the campus work out place. First off, kid in a candy shop. Everything is shiny, new and--oh how appropriate--garnet. Second, wheeeere do I go again? This place is massive. I don't even know where the bathroom is. It was at this point that I realized the decision to not put in my contacts was quite a detrimental one. I can wander around though, no problem. This brings me to reaction number three... The shibboleth.
I lost my apartment keys and fob over the span of maybe 50 feet and 15 minutes. Don't even think of asking, magicians rarely reveal their secrets. Due to this loss, I was without access to my physical apartment, a way to exit or enter the complex via foot or car, and the facilities provided as amenities to residents...including the workout place.
So here we go, hitting the pavement for a walk to the campus work out place. First off, kid in a candy shop. Everything is shiny, new and--oh how appropriate--garnet. Second, wheeeere do I go again? This place is massive. I don't even know where the bathroom is. It was at this point that I realized the decision to not put in my contacts was quite a detrimental one. I can wander around though, no problem. This brings me to reaction number three... The shibboleth.
It finally occurred to me as I hit the weight area that I way did not belong here. The us vs. them mentality was screaming for attention. And this is not to say it as a dish on the way others were looking at me. They probably were, but thankfully I was in terrible vision bliss. I'm talking about my own thoughts. First instinct: Are there any other girls down here? Because I refuse to be the only one. Second instinct: I sure hope someone notices that I sort of know what I'm doing, because I've done this before. Just not here. Third instinct: Wow all the girls are over there doing abs.. Ha I'm so BA, look at this chicks--LEGSSSS.
Right so, point is, walk around thinking about how I'm better than at least someone there, and therefore I belong. Then it hits me--no, not wow I'm an asshole but--wow, people do this everywhere. Even Publix. There is something about "belonging"that requires you be "not them" but "one of us". Curious how that works, is it not? Life is not as much about being "like us" as it turns out to be about NOT being like "them". Think about it, how many groups or identities are defined by what these people aren't?
Unfortunately I don't have some kind of world problem-solving answer to this phenomenon, but I'm pretty sure awareness of it is a great place to start. Perhaps that's why groups are so exclusive... They are defined by what they exclude. Maybe it's easier to find the things we all do than to focus on the things we don't do. Solidarity in similarity? Could be a great start.
Unfortunately I don't have some kind of world problem-solving answer to this phenomenon, but I'm pretty sure awareness of it is a great place to start. Perhaps that's why groups are so exclusive... They are defined by what they exclude. Maybe it's easier to find the things we all do than to focus on the things we don't do. Solidarity in similarity? Could be a great start.
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